Ch 1: Worksheet 1.1 Understanding Your Character Choices

I had a good short meeting tonight about the “Can We Dance?” book and wanted to share the first exercise on pages 28, 34 and 35:

Worksheet 1.1: Understanding Your Character Choices

“Much of this character development occurs within friendships and a relationship… You have the free will to make whatever character and behavior choices you wish, as well as to influence whatever consequences follow….”

This worksheet will assist you to begin the process of understanding the character choices you have made, and how they have affected your relationships of all kinds. These include family, friends, partners and spouses.

Remember to be honest and gentle with yourself in the process of completing it. The goal of the worksheet is not to become self critical. It is to help you with the next step in the process of better understanding and developing your character qualities, which will be the focus of both chapters 2 and 3. As you complete the worksheet, note any situations that can be part of the focus of your character development work that will be done in chapter 3.

Instructions:

a) On the first table note a few actions that you have taken within a relationship that had a positive result. Note the effect or outcome of your actions. Then, identify a character quality that you practiced in that situation.

b) On the second table note your actions that have had a negative result and the outcome in those situations. Then, identify a character quality you could have practiced that would have improved the outcome.

POSTIVE ACTIONS (HIGHER NATURE)

Action	Effect/Outcome	Character Qualities That I Practiced
Example: gave friend bday present	She felt appreciated and happy	Thoughtfulness, courtesy
Emailed back	He felt happy respected	Courtesy

NEGATIVE ACTIONS (LOWER NATURE)

Action	Effect/Outcome	Character Qualities That I Could Have Practiced
Example: ignored friend	He would not speak to me for a week	friendliness
yelled at friend	she feels uneasy around me	kindness patience
stopped writing to friend	he feels confused	honesty respect

Questions for Reflection:

1. What did I learn about my actions and character from completing the tables?

2. What improved ways do I want to speak and act with a partner in a relationship?

3. What choices in my life show that I am practicing character qualities effectively?

4. What new choices do I want to make?

5. What scares me about making these choices?