[edit]Family
Pink met professional motocross racer Carey Hart at the 2001 X Games in Philadelphia.[49] Hart subsequently appeared in the video for her 2002 song "Just Like a Pill".[50] Following a brief separation in 2003, Pink proposed to Hart in June 2005 during a Mammoth Lakes motocross race by holding up a "Will you marry me?" sign on his pit board.[51] They married in Costa Rica on January 7, 2006.[52]
After months of speculation, Pink announced in February 2008 that she and Hart had separated.[53][54] The video for her 2008 hit "So What", in which Hart appears, deals with her separation and pending divorce.[55] By early 2009, the couple, whose divorce had not yet been finalized,[56] had undergone marriage counseling and was attempting a reconciliation.[57] In February 2010, Pink confirmed that she and Hart were back together,[58] and announced the following November that they were expecting their first child.[59] On June 2, 2011, Pink gave birth to their daughter, Willow Sage Hart.[60]
Quotes About the Marriage of Pink and Carey Hart:
Carey: "We're rebuilding. Sometimes you have to take a couple of steps backwards to move forward ... We're definitely putting in work [our relationship.]"
Carey: "We're rebuilding. Sometimes you have to take a couple of steps backwards to move forward ... We're definitely putting in work [our relationship.]"
Pink, 2/20/08: "The most important thing for you all to know, is that Carey and I love each other so so much. This break up is not about cheating, anger, or fighting. I know it sounds like cliche bulls***, but we are best friends, and we will continue to be ... He is a good man, so please support him as well. One never knows the future, but mine and Careys' just might involve beach babies and sunshine one day. Just not right now."
Source: PinksPage.com
Carey Hart on their wedding: "We wanted it very fun and non-traditional. We're spiritual, but we're not religious. It was about being with our closest friends and family and having a very fun and loose party."
Carey Hart about Pink: "I knew within the first few weeks after meeting her that I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life."
Source: PinksPage.com
Carey Hart on their wedding: "We wanted it very fun and non-traditional. We're spiritual, but we're not religious. It was about being with our closest friends and family and having a very fun and loose party."
Carey Hart about Pink: "I knew within the first few weeks after meeting her that I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life."
Basic Principles of Marriage Counseling (wikipedia)
Before a relationship between individuals can begin to be understood, it is important to recognize and acknowledge that each person, including the counselor, has a unique personality, perception, set of valuesand history. Individuals in the relationship may adhere to different and unexamined value systems. Institutional and societal variables (like the social, religious, group and other collective factors) which shape a person's nature, and behavior are considered in the process of counseling and therapy. A tenet of relationship counseling is that it is intrinsically beneficial for all the participants to interact with each other and with society at large with optimal amounts of conflict. A couple's conflict resolution skills seems to predict divorce rates.[8]
Most relationships will get strained at some time, resulting in their not functioning optimally and producing self-reinforcing, maladaptive patterns. These patterns may be called negative interaction cycles. There are many possible reasons for this, including insecure attachment, ego, arrogance, jealousy, anger, greed, poor communication/understanding or problem solving, ill health, third parties and so on.
Changes in situations like financial state, physical health, and the influence of other family members can have a profound influence on the conduct, responses and actions of the individuals in a relationship.
Often it is an interaction between two or more factors, and frequently it is not just one of the people who are involved that exhibit such traits. Relationship influences are reciprocal - it takes each person involved to make and manage problems.
A viable solution to the problem and setting these relationships back on track may be to reorient the individuals' perceptions and emotions - how one looks at or responds to situations and feels about them. Perceptions of and emotional responses to a relationship are contained within an often unexamined mental map of the relationship, also called a love map by John Gottman. These can be explored collaboratively and discussed openly. The core values they comprise can then be understood and respected or changed when no longer appropriate. This implies that each person takes equal responsibility for awareness of the problem as it arises, awareness of their own contribution to the problem and making some fundamental changes in thought and feeling.
The next step is to adopt conscious, structural changes to the inter-personal relationships and evaluate the effectiveness of those changes over time.
Indeed, "typically for those close personal relations there is a certain degree in 'interdependence' - which means that the partners are alternately mutually dependent on each other. As a special aspect of such relations something contradictory is put outside: the need for intimacy and for autonomy."
"The common counterbalancing satisfaction these both needs, intimacy and autonomy, leads to alternately satisfaction in the relationship and stability. But it depends on the specific developing duties of each partner in every life phase and maturity".[9]
[edit]Basic Practices according to Wikipedia
Two methods of couples therapy focus primarily on the process of communicating. The most commonly used method is active listening, used by the late Carl Rogers and Virginia Satir, and recommended byHarville Hendrix in Getting the Love You Want. More recently, a method called Cinematic Immersion has been developed by Warren Farrell in Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say. Each helps couples learn a method of communicating designed to create a safe environment for each partner to express and hear feelings.
When the Munich Marital Study discovered active listening to not be used in the long run, Warren Farrell observed that active listening did a better job creating a safe environment for the criticizer to criticize than for the listener to hear the criticism. The listener, often feeling overwhelmed by the criticism, tended to avoid future encounters. He hypothesized that we were biologically programmed to respond defensively to criticism, and therefore the listener needed to be trained in-depth with mental exercises and methods to interpret as love what might otherwise feel abusive. His method is Cinematic Immersion.
After 30 years of research into marriage John Gottman has found that healthy couples almost never listen and echo each other's feelings naturally. Whether miserable or radiantly happy, couples said what they thought about an issue, and "they got angry or sad, but their partner's response was never anything like what we were training people to do in the listener/speaker exercise, not even close.[10]"
Such exchanges occurred in less than 5 percent of marital interactions and they predicted nothing about whether the marriage would do well or badly. What's more, Gottman noted, data from a 1984 Munich study demonstrated that the (reflective listening) exercise itself didn't help couples to improve their marriages. To teach such interactions, whether as a daily tool for couples or as a therapeutic exercise in empathy, was a clinical dead end.[11]
By contrast emotionally focused therapy for couples (EFT-C) is based on attachment theory and uses emotion as the target and agent of change. Emotions bring the past alive in rigid interaction patterns, which create and reflect absorbing emotional states. As one of its founders Sue Johnson says,
Forget about learning how to argue better, analysing your early childhood, making grand romantic gestures, or experimenting with new sexual positions. Instead, recognize and admit that you are emotionally attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent for nurturing, soothing, and protection.[cite this quote]