What do you think about this article? How can our friendship, love, understanding, consultation skills, acceptance, cooperation, help us build unity regarding our finances as a couple? The next posting will have some interesting quotations about employment.
Solving 8 Money Issues That Cause Marriage Problems
Source: Quips and Tips for Healthy Women
There's no denying the impact money has on love; in fact, it's actually more common for couples without money to break up than wealthy couples. Here are eight solutions to the common money issues that couples face today, from Dr Judy Kuriansky.
But first, a quotation from a strong woman in history:
"I could write my own check, but I like him (husband) to give it to me. Money is sexy," said Helen Gurley Brown.
"I could write my own check, but I like him (husband) to give it to me. Money is sexy," said Helen Gurley Brown.
Money is also powerful, and it can become a real beast in a relationship. Money can cause severe marriage problems - especially if you don't have enough.
According to Dr Judy Kuriansky, author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to a Healthy Relationship (Second Edition), money is one of the top three sources of tension between couples. Sex and raising kids are the other two. In her book, Dr Judy lists "12 routes to derailing on the money track." (Click the book cover for more information).
Here are eight of those money issues, with a possible solutions to each.
Solving 10 Money Issues that Cause Marriage Problems
Solving 10 Money Issues that Cause Marriage Problems
1. Anniversaries, birthdays and special occasions. If partners have different ideas on what a "reasonable" amount of money to spend on special occasions is, then this money issue could snowball into a marriage problem. Solving this money issue could involve finding ways to meet halfway. If you think $200 is reasonable for a birthday gift and he thinks $100 is, spend $150. Or find non-monetary ways to celebrate special occasions - and learn how men and women view money differently.
2. Unemployment, layoffs and pink slips. These are money issues that cause marriage problems because they also affect self-esteem, confidence levels, and emotional upsets. According to Dr Judy, solving this financial problem - and resulting relationship difficulties - involves planning your expenses with regular discussions and adjusting your lifestyle.
3. Promotions, financial windfalls and salary increases. "Weathering windfalls can be just as much a source of stress as tumbling finances," writes Dr Judy in The Complete Idiot's Guide to a Healthy Relationship. "You'll face practical discussions about what to do with the money." To solve this money issue, decide how you'll handle money matters and make all financial decisions.
4. Children. Food, clothes, doctor's bills, sports, entertainment, education, recreation - they're all money issues that cause marriage problems. Solving these financial difficulties involves budgeting, teaching your kids how to earn they're own money when they're old enough, and having ongoing discussions.
5. Big purchases: houses, cars and condos. "Make sure you discuss not just the practical details, but the emotional implications," writes Dr Judy. "Large expenditures tend to imply long-lasting involvement that can stir up feelings about the solidity and longevity of your commitment to each other." Solving this financial difficulty involves tracing the roots of your money matters and expressing your feelings about big purchases.
6. Tax-time troubles. Deadlines, panics over taxes paid and unpaid, and frustrations with the powers that be can be a money issue that causes marriage problems. "Trust might also be destroyed if one of you suspects the other of hiding assets or being dishonest," writes Dr Judy. To solve this financial difficulty, she advises being honest and prepared. Dr Judy also suggests sharing tasks and being supportive of one another.
7. Stepfamily expenses. Alimony and/or child support payments can put a financial drain on your income as a couple, which leads to marriage problems. To solve this money issue, first accept that the responsibilities from a previous marriage are important to uphold. Plan for those stepfamily expenses, and separate the resentful or competitive feelings from the reality.
8. Vacations, weekend getaways and family holidays. "Attitudes on how to apportion your resources for time off, what to do, and how much to spend can make what should be a dream vacation turn into a nightmare," writes Dr Judy in The Complete Idiot's Guide to a Healthy Relationship. "Resolve your differing attitudes ahead of time, like going economy or first class." Another solution to this money issue is to take turns planning your vacations, and budget in advance.
Dr Judy Kuriansky lists four more money issues that cause marriage problems in The Complete Idiot's Guide to a Healthy Relationship. She also discusses everything imaginable about relationships, from the signs of a healthy relationship to how to find a sex therapist for counseling. This book is a worthwhile investment of your time and money….if you're going to spend your money on anything, it would be best spent on learning how to have the best relationship possible.
Comments
Post a Comment