from PLT: Reading a book called "Conscious Courtship, Finding Someone to Love for the Rest of Your Life" written by a Baha'i, i found the following from the chapter called "Falling in Love" useful for me and I would like to share it with you:
"Love is not a feeling, that authentic love has the capacity to transcend feelings…. In a constructive marriage ... the partners must regularly, routinely and predictably to attend to each other and their relationship no matter how they feel… describes love as directing our energy toward the welfare of the other.... Love is very definitely linked to our will and our capacity to choose… the capacity to use our will to restrain our feelings of love may be much important than the feelings themselves. This is specifically true at the time of courtship and getting to know one another, but the capacity to do this much needed during the marriage…To sum up, much more important than falling in love is the need to develop in ourselves the capacity for genuine love and to keep our eyes open for that capacity in a future partner. Falling in love gets in the way, both of developing this capacity in ourselves and seeing it in the other. It is best to hold falling in love at bay until one is ready for a mature commitment and until one finds another who can reciprocate - not the feelings - but the wisdom and will to love maturely. Both partners need to be ready to take the whole spiritual journey together and this means going down and up the slopes which both marriage and life inevitably entail."
Pray that you will find someone to love for the rest of your life..
"Love is not a feeling, that authentic love has the capacity to transcend feelings…. In a constructive marriage ... the partners must regularly, routinely and predictably to attend to each other and their relationship no matter how they feel… describes love as directing our energy toward the welfare of the other.... Love is very definitely linked to our will and our capacity to choose… the capacity to use our will to restrain our feelings of love may be much important than the feelings themselves. This is specifically true at the time of courtship and getting to know one another, but the capacity to do this much needed during the marriage…To sum up, much more important than falling in love is the need to develop in ourselves the capacity for genuine love and to keep our eyes open for that capacity in a future partner. Falling in love gets in the way, both of developing this capacity in ourselves and seeing it in the other. It is best to hold falling in love at bay until one is ready for a mature commitment and until one finds another who can reciprocate - not the feelings - but the wisdom and will to love maturely. Both partners need to be ready to take the whole spiritual journey together and this means going down and up the slopes which both marriage and life inevitably entail."
Pray that you will find someone to love for the rest of your life..
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