Today I opened up to this page in "Can We Dance" by Suzanne Alexander, and wanted to share with you.
Effective communication occurs when two people exchange messages, and they both listen and understand the intended meaning of the message. Communication works best in a relationship when you express yourself from your higher nature using the character qualities (Chapter 1). This chapter will give you tools to assist you in doing this. Chapter 14 will assist you when you seem to keep stopping on each other's toes and speaking from your lower nature instead.A key aspect of effective mutual communication is listening to each other. Have you ever noticed that if you rearrange the letters of LISTEN they form the word SILENT? Silence makes it possible to listen fully to your partner with your ears, mind, eyes, and heart, which can include seeing a subject from your partner's perspective. "...Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." (Holy Bible, James 1:19) Listening fully to your partner can help them to feel respected, loved, validated, and appreciated. Their confidence can increase, and they will feel more loving toward you. When you give this gift to your partner, it encourages them to listen well to your in return. Poet and author Oliver Wendell Holmes once wrote, "It is the province of knowledge to speak and it is privilege of wisdom to listen."Listening and understanding each other contribute to effective problem-solving discussions. When you are successful at resolving issues, you reduce or prevent dissension or disunity between you. Conscious listening enhances trust, love and unity between you and your partner. According to Kathylyn Hendricks, Ph.D. and Gay Hendricks, Ph.D, conscious listening includes three levels of skill and depth:Level One: Listen for the words - Give a simple, concise, and accurate summary of what you have heard the speak say.Level Two: Listen for the emotions - Hear from your heart the emotions under the words of the speaker.Level Three: Listen for the wants and needs - Hear beneath the words and the emotions for what the speaker is really asking for and needing.