Marriage Transformation| Can We Create a No-Conflict Marriage or Relationship?


From: "Marriage Transformation& Susanne Alexander"
Subject: Can We Create a No-Conflict Marriage or Relationship?
Date: September 13, 2012 10:40:46 PM GMT+08:00
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Article: 
"All couples fight." "Learn to fight fair." "Manage your conflict." In a world where violent words and actions are common, we can automatically assume that various levels of conflict are normal and expected in relationships and marriages.
But what if it's not true? What if it's possible for couples to learn knowledge and skills that make conflict very rare? And include the children and other family members in the process?
A key operating principle for a peaceful marriage is "The unity of our marriage comes first." That includes making decisions as partners. Consultative or partnership decision-making, sometimes referred to simply as "consultation", includes:
  • Full fact-finding discussion between two (or more) people, usually aimed at arriving at a decision
  • Identifying any spiritual principles that apply to the situation
  • Focusing on a common goal—what is best to do or not do
  • Exploring thoughts, feelings, and goals, as well as sharing of new information; searching for the truth together
  • Sharing equal voices for all involved, with all contributions worthy of respectful listening
  • Detaching from owning contributions so that each person can be flexible in adjusting perspectives through the process
  • Clarifying situations, resolving disagreements, and finding solutions that work, without blaming, arguing, or issuing orders
  • Supporting the decision wholeheartedly and working unitedly for its success; evaluating its effectiveness together over time
Skillful consultation helps to preserve love, harmony, and unity between a couple. The focus is coming together and reaching decisions that you can carry out in a united way.
Learning to consult effectively is not easy for couples, but practicing and achieving excellence is worth it when the outcome is a happy and united marriage.
Warm greetings!
Susanne 
Resources: Susanne M. Alexander is a relationship and marriage coach (via Skype globally), character specialist, author, and the president of Marriage Transformation (www.marriagetransformation.com). She has written Pure Gold: Encouraging Character Qualities in Marriage, which has a chapter on consultation, and developed a couple discussion module with a unique communication model entitled "Unity in the Home: Making Decisions as Partners" (www.marriagetransformation.com/store_modules.htm).  Note: A revised version of Pure Gold is now available as a pdf eBook (www.marriagetransformation.com/store_PureGold2.htm).
Research:
A researcher working on a PhD dissertation is looking for engaged couples between ages 20 and 35 who are both members of the Baha'i Faith. Contact with her has to be by September 21. Please email me for details if you are interested in participating.

Susanne M. Alexander
Marriage Transformation
2409 Hamill Road
Hixson, TN 37343
Phone: 423-599-0153
www.marriagetransformation.com
www.bahaimarriage.net

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