How do you know if you’ve found Mr. or Ms. Right?
Are you are having trouble finding a partner who "fits"?
How do you really know if you’ve found Mr. or Ms. Right? Do you just know? Is it completely intuitive, based on gut feel or is it something you have to seriously think about and analyze? Is there a list of pros and cons you need to carefully weigh? Do you feel that you’ve made mistakes in other relationships? You thought you had found Mr. Right, but clearly you were wrong because that relationship didn’t last.
Well, we think it’s a combination of both blink and think. The question is when are we blinking, or going with the initial reaction, and when are we thinking, weighing, and analyzing the information?
There’s much more to a relationship than just that initial zing and chemistry. Many of us have been in relationships where there was lots of chemistry but not enough compatibility. Generally speaking, the more we have in common when it comes to values, socio-economic demographics, shared interests and activities, the better it is for the long-term happiness and health of the relationship. There are areas, however, where opposites very often attract.
There are lots of ways in which we may be drawn to someone who is the opposite of what we are. Again, this is usually something that we’re not even conscious of. The challenge with this is that those very things that are the opposite characteristics to what we have, that we’re attracted to, are the very things that will cause friction and tension in the relationship in the long haul. In other words, the cute little quirky things that we loved about someone initially are probably the things that will drive us crazy about them after the love drugs wear off. The more we’re aware of who we are and what characteristics and values are the strongest and most important to us, and the more we understand about a potential partner prior to making a long term commitment, the better off we’ll be.
When you look at couples, you may find that one partner is more detail oriented than the other, one might be more spontaneous than the other, or one might be more active than the other. We’re not looking for clones of ourselves, but the more we have in common, the more shared values we have, the more our partner fits our subconscious patterns of what a partner is supposed to be, the easier the relationship will be.
We’ve developed a tool called the Relationship Compatibility Assessment which measures personality traits, values and behaviors in twelve different areas to help you understand the traits that most strongly influence your compatibility with a partner and the characteristics and values in a mate that will provide you with sustainable happiness. It’s been interesting to see how effective this tool is in our matching process when we’re putting couples together. We’ve found over and over again that the more people’s values match up, the more likely they are to really have a connection. Many of our couples who were very similar in their strongest values areas are happily married or have been together for several years. In fact, we can’t think of any cases were the relationship lasted when the two individuals didn’t have clear correlations on values.
Ideally you’ll be able to get your potential partner to complete this assessment when the time comes. Even if you can’t get a partner to complete the assessment, you can at least know where you stand in the ranking on each trait and you can get a sense of which values are really the most important to you. You’ll then be more aware of these characteristics in the people you’re meeting and can better assess the possibilities for a long term, happy relationship. Here are the eleven characteristics, values and behaviors we believe are key indicators of the potential success of a relationship.
- Introversion vs. Extroversion
- Connection
- Flexibility
- Parenting
- Optimism/Realism
- Action Orientation
- Care-Giving
- Arts and Beauty
- Intellectualism
- Expressiveness
- Money Matters
We hope you enjoy taking the assessment and that it helps you find the relationship you are looking for!
It will take 10 - 15 minutes to complete the Relationship Compatibility Assessment but you may save it and come back later if you need to take a break!
http://www.myrelationshipassessment.com/unity/
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