from my 2006Wikispaces: Beautiful, Loving, Honesty, Just, Harmonious, Strong Marriage

Goals:

1. We focus our thoughts, efforts and actions on loving Baha'u'llah together and serving Him. Our highest concern is to bring our thoughts and actions into accord with His Teachings.
2. We are committed to our "true marriage" and don't give up. We'll do everything we possibly can to protect it, nurture it, encourage it to grow stronger and stronger - including sacrifice bad or useless habits, cultural attachments, rest and leisure that interferes with needed discipline, study, and trying new things that can be effective.
3. We are honest with ourselves and each other. We build skills of communication, consultation...We communicate our needs and wants clearly (ever-advancing skills in this department) so that we're serving Baha'u'llah, we are responsive and keep our word.
4. We are joyful and happy and loving! We enjoy laughing and humor and flexibility and smiles.
5. We have a humble attitude of learning. We ask for and seek help when we need it.
6. We focus on harmony and unity through equality, justice and respect.
7. We trust each other and are trustworthy with each other.
8. We are kind and encouraging with each other.
9. We are smart before we make our commitment and thoroughly get to know each other's characters and decide if we should be just good loving friends, or if we can make the commitment of marriage "through all the worlds of God"
10. We strive to grow spiritually - We strive to practice a disciplined life of
    1. daily prayer,
    2. daily reading/studying,
    3. daily meditation,
    4. daily striving,
    5. daily teaching,
    6. daily serving and
    7. our daily 95 Allah'u'abha's
    8. daily taking ourselves into account
11. We strive to for physical health and refinement through moderate and healthy diet, exercise, sleep, play and fun.
12. We strive to be healthy emotionally. We strive for loving, respectful, caring, honorable relationships with
    1. each other, as if our marriage were our "first baby"
    2. our families
    3. our communities
    4. our workplaces
13. We strive to be healthy mentally
14. We care about the things the other cares about and encourage each other to excel and be our best and truest selves.
15. We are noble Handmaidens/Servants of God:
    1. as a spiritual and material being, as someone striving to be a growing Baha'i obedient to the laws of Baha'u'llah a little more each day,
    2. as a people dealing with, healing and using past experiences to be of service in the world,
    3. as a people with lots of spiritual and other potential waiting to be developed and used for the betterment of the world.
16. We strive daily to practice:
    1. chastity,
    2. saying kind and loving things (no backbiting)
    3. healthy eating
    4. heart w/o loving-kindness for everyone who walks our path.
17. We strive to be respected as a Maidservants and Servants of Baha'u'llah - and we treat each other as a noble beings, as a daughters and sons of Abdu'l-Baha. We strive to treat all others this way too - especially partner, family, friends, and beyond.
18. We are careful to say loving and encouraging things instead of criticizing ourselves and each other. We treat ourselves and each other (and others) with great respect and loving-kindness, honesty, humor, fun, and gentleness. We desire to and make efforts to learn better and better ways to practice these skills.
19. We are thoughtful in our decision making and both desire to grow and improve.

Books:

1. Can We Dance?
2. A Blog on the subject of healthy relationships
3. Marrying Smart
4. Baha'i Marriage and Family Life
5. Marriage Can Be Forever, Preparation Counts
6. The 5 Love Languages
7. Partners in Spirit
8. Getting the Love you Want

Sexuality:

1. Dr. Danesh's great article